Implicit Intransigence – Relationships Blog

Exploring The Hidden Dimensions Of Relationships

An Archetype of Instability… Natalie Portman & Benjamin Millepied

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Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied

Greetings.  There is another exciting (and perplexing) union made official in the oft-unstable world of Hollywood.  I can now picture in my mind’s eye a number of raised eyebrows reacting to my opening statements on this new marriage.  But unless you are a new reader to this blog you probably know it is probably in everyone’s interest not to write off anything said here, good or (especially) bad.

So why do I find this union perplexing?  After all they have been together for well over two years.  First off, I found it somewhat difficult to find information pertaining the ins, outs, and abouts of this couple since their initial encounters.  One of my first impressions is that this is a very private and perhaps secretive couple.  In my experience studying the topics of lies, deception, infidelity, and illusions as they apply to couples, it is my tentative conclusion that both partners in couples that are excessively private after showing signs of high compulsivity often have issues of insecurity and sometimes have things to hide from the prying eyes of the world and each other.  After all, secretive couples are composed of secretive individuals!  I’m not saying that this couple will necessarily fall into the trap of infidelity and deception, but after a period of reflection I came to the conclusion that this is something that they both must look out for in the long term.  At the very least there could probably be a tendency not to be fully forthcoming when there is a problem, fear, or reservation.

But other factors helped lead me down this line of thought.  You see, at the onset of this relationship in 2009, there were many reports indicating a fast acting and exceedingly compulsive union.  There were also reports of infidelity and a wrecked home on Benjamin’s side, who reportedly left his former partner to form an intense relationship with Natalie.  This is usually an indication of an extremely passionate and compulsive sexual and romantic attraction.  These two really find each other irresistible, and they were going to proceed with their union, despite the high cost involved.  I tend to pay a lot of attention to just how high-visibility couples initially come together, because this presents a unique opportunity to understand why they came together and where they are headed.  The sex factor here is very high, and they are both compatible in this regard.  They are both also idealists and they are generally compatible in many ways even though they both can also be strong minded and willful when they are together.  The cultural background they share was also a strong factor adding to the sense of inevitability to their union.

Natalie is an intelligent, dynamic, and emotional woman that has suffered disappointments and frustrations.  Women as talented, passionate, and beautiful as Natalie usually have no problems finding partners in their early adult lives, but Natalie has found happiness elusive.  Because of her stated tastes and mental projections of what she believes is her ideal love and considering her goals for her future family life, I fear that this relationship will not conform to her long term expectations of happiness through married life, and disappointments and surprises will ensue.  As this relationship deepens and responsibilities accumulate, she’ll likely find this relationship frustrating, vexing, and limiting.  Her carefree and free-wheeling ways will be a thing of the past.

As far as Benjamin is concerned, he is obviously a man that emphasizes sex and passion in his life.  His dancing and choreographic talents reveal an intense man with passions that overflow into his artistic persona.  The drama surrounding his union with Natalie suggests that there is a powerful hold that Natalie has over him, whether he admits this or not.  Infidelity, jealousy, emotional manipulations, sentimental games, and disappointment are very common effects in circumstances such as this.   When frustrations ensue, Natalie is likely to shut Benjamin down with defiance and displays of independence.  Benjamin in turn can be emotionally damaging and hurtful toward Natalie when the going gets rough.

To be honest, I have seldom found a relationship this compulsive and born out of alleged drama and intrigue that lasts.  Relationships such as this have a way of changing both partners deeply and permanently.  However, the powers of Imin insist that not everything can change no matter how hard partners might try, and this will become painfully obvious to both  partners in the future.  The key question is… What are they both going to do when they are faced with the realities of this marriage?  My conclusion is that control struggles will ensue as both partners try to mold this marriage and new family into what they believe it supposed to be.  When futility follows, Natalie is likely to go off and do her own thing, putting Benjamin in a difficult situation.  They both can expect hot and cold episodes that coupled with their ambitions and differing values and lifestyle will create a vortex of anger, frustration, and instability.  I don’t think this relationship will last because of the almost impossible degree of work it requires.  These two individuals have a very different notion on how things are supposed to be, and this will cause some problems.  The first thing they can try is to simply let go and allow each other all the freedom in the world to co-exist and not unduly interfere and control each other (which due to principle will be incredibly difficult to do).  Be truthful and real in order to avoid (or at least reduce) heartbreak and disappointment.  Compromise and realize that this union will never be perfect or comfortable.  If they suffer a breakup (which is very likely) it is crucial to try to be as amicable as possible.  At this point the expectation is for me to say Mazel tov to this union, but while this thought does apply to a certain degree, I’ll just simply say b’hatzlacha instead.  Thank you for reading.

The publishing of the e-book is set for the latter part of this year.  Thank you all for your support and readership.  Month by month this blog is creating a growing community of readers and RSS subscribers from all over the world.  I love and appreciate you all and I’ll continue to post updates for you as opportunity allows me to.

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