Implicit Intransigence – Relationships Blog

Exploring The Hidden Dimensions Of Relationships

A Contrast Of Dreams Versus Reality… Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries

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Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

The K & K marriage is finally consummated, and now it is time to take a closer look at this marriage phenomenon and public spectacle.

I think that if anyone were to ask these two (at the moment) if they are “true soulmates” the emphatic answer would be an enthused YES from both of these passionate believers of love.  Given their public statements and behavior it is clear that these two are on cloud 9 or 10 and are full of love and high expectations.  The speed at which they made things final and official gives me a clue as to the type of relationship we can expect from these two.  This is the type of relationship that develops quickly on the basis of beautiful dreams, illusions, lust, and glossed-over expectations.

In terms of their initial attraction, sex drive and sensual compatibility are key components here.  Unlike many couples, these two really seem way above average in this area simply by judging their body language and choice of activities.  Kris in his behavior and choice of life partner is clearly a man of strong natural sexual drives.  Kim’s long trail of ex-partners also gives me all the insight I need as to her strong sexual proclivities.  Lust is not the only reason for the marriage, as these two have demonstrated a strong belief in the concept of love and emotional connection.  Sex for these two appears to be a vehicle of intense emotional bonding, love, and security.  This is a hot and heavy relationship and these two will not be happy if they keep their hands off each other or don’t emote strongly in the lovemaking process.  Failure in the sex department will most likely signal the end of this very physical union.  Kim and her public persona also clearly reveals a powerful emotional construct that has obviously caused her enormous difficulties in past relationships.  As per the rules of Imin, this difficult pattern will continue in her new marriage.

Their statements and that of those familiar with their relationship show a certain naive and compulsive disposition.  The problem that I have seen with this sort of thing is that it creates a pie-in-the-sky relationship with very little connection to the looming dangers of Imin Enmity.  Kim seems to have the emotional upper hand in this relationship.  This relationship will likely be more challenging for Kris than it will be for Kim, and if it ends, it is likely that Kris would be the driving force behind a split.  Kim will likely feel in the long term that she is not receiving all the love and affection that  she so desperately desires, and this will cause her to behave in ways that will put Kris in an emotional straightjacket.  This effect is called affectionate imbalance, where one partner feels that he or she is more loving than the other.  Studying the past and projecting it to the future insists that Kim’s emotions and the effect they have on Kris hold the key to the fate of the relationship, because with negative emotions come an unwillingness to work together or to compromise, leading to intense Imin Entrenchment and Imin Enmity that are nearly impossible to overcome.  They both must be very careful in experiencing intense frustration and futility with each other.

I’m not questioning their sincerity in pursuing this marriage.  They are both sincere in their intentions, and their intense feelings are real.  The problem is the massive rift that will develop between their expectations and high flying dreams of ideal love, and the sobering reality that will see them both crashing back down to earth, regardless of how long this relationship lasts.  If they want to succeed as a couple, they must develop the sensitivity and love-smarts required to understand and embrace the frustration and emotional stress they will certainly experience, and in doing so they must aggressively pursue compromise instead of aggressively working against or stifling each other.

My verdict is that these two will intensely love each other, but will fail miserably in making this marriage work in the long term due to their initial inability to construct a relationship that is more based on their realities than their dreams.  In part due to their free wheeling and differing lifestyles, ego clashes, control struggles, and an inability to let each other be who they are due to emotional imbalances and insecurities will create an environment where Imin Enmity will not be avoided.   Due to this, I expect to see and read things in the future suggesting they have problems getting along.  I picture both of them going off in separate directions and showing up at events without their partner.  Right now they are inseparable, but if close attention is paid, all that will change before a split ensues.

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