Implicit Intransigence – Relationships Blog

Exploring The Hidden Dimensions Of Relationships

Hard At Work

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Greetings.  All publishing projects pertaining Imin are postponed indefinitely.  I’m inundated by a number of projects and interests that have caused a number of critical delays in my research projects, without which I cannot hope to complete the material required for publication.  The current vision has expanded way beyond the original plans.  Make no mistake, I’m hard at work.  However, I prefer not to publish with so much important unfinished work yet to  be done.  I require a significant amount of additional time to complete all that is required of me.  I’m also working out some important personal matters as well.  Thank you all for your support and readership, and I hope to return soon with additional material that can really aid in the advancement of relationships science in the near future.

A New Branch For The Tree Of Psychology

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Greetings.  Since my last posting a couple more of the strong predictions made here came through.  I held my peace on the seesaw breakup between Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez until it was made more definitive and official.  Well it is all over now.  The same thing applies to the “afflicted affair” between Rihanna and Chris Brown.  I think that with all the contemptuous breakup displays these two former couples have exhibited recently we can safely say that the blog posts here on these relationships were not only bold and strong but also highly accurate!  It is best for all involved that both of these breakups remain as they are, because any attempts to reconcile to the point of actually reigniting these former relationships in a romantic way would very likely lead to annoying difficulties or failure.  Nothing wrong with friendship and reconciliation, but in these cases they should all keep a safe and friendly distance if they choose to go that route, because I don’t think they have what it takes to be in close relationships of that kind (at least not without specialized help).  There are other relationships written about in this blog that have in the near past showed  (or are current showing) signs of behavior as predicted by the posts.  But I’ll wait and see what happens in these cases.  As an initial teaser I’ll refer you back to the posting on Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.  Remember the things I said about Angelina’s resistance to marriage, and Brad’s expectations not being commensurate to underlying realities?  Well, they have yet to marry, even though months have passed since the initial announcement!  Those of you that read the posting and paid attention already know why.  I hope you all are starting to see the power of Imin at work.

I am very busy these days.  This prevents me from posting here more often.  The publishing of my book on Imin continues to be delayed due to the fact that important research projects take a lot of time and resources to conduct.  However, progress is being made.  To those of you that have read the first edition of the book, you will find the second edition almost completely unrecognizable when compared to the first.  I wanted the book to be a powerful guide to relationships.  However, after further work it became clear that I will not be able to limit the scope of the book to only relationships.  The relationships guide is a layman’s self-help chapter on relationships, and the topic of relationships is covered by some (but not all) chapters.  There is something for everyone, whether an ever-curious scholar or just an average person looking for an easy to read self-help book on relationships.  No worries, it is still a book on relationships, but I simply had to delve deeper into this powerful topic of Imin to bring it all together.  You see, what you are witnessing is the growth of a potentially new branch of psychology.  A whole new world of possibility is opening up that has the power to change our understanding of human mind interactions in ways never afforded in the past.  Of course, I need the support of the public, readers, and key members of academia so that such an evolution (revolution?) can take place.  It is all tedious and slow-going, but crucial.  And I thank you for your readership, patience,  and support!

One of the more recent advances in the topic of Imin pertains to the role of the subconscious mind in human functioning as per the dictates of Imin, and how the scientific knowledge currently available on the topic of the subconscious can be applied to achieve a fuller understanding of Imin patterns that can be seen in couples and other relationship systems.  Fascinating topic!  Stay tuned.  I’ll finish the book in the next few months (hopefully I’ll be done by the fall).  I’ll keep everyone updated on my progress.  And I’ll continue to make postings on other relationships of public interest.  THANK YOU.

An Afflicted Affair… Rihanna & Chris Brown

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Greetings to all.  It has been a while since I have posted here.  It has been a whirlwind last few months for me.  I am hoping that soon I’ll be able to make more frequent postings for you to feast your eyes on.  As I continue to work diligently on writing the book on Imin and its powerful influences on all of us, postponements, research, rewrites, distractions, and other problems and duties have taken their toll on the release date.  PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!  I need a few more months to put everything together the way I envision it.  Nothing else would do for me or the book’s readers.  In the mean time, I will continue to write about relationships of general interest.

I’ll also continue to make strong predictions.  For those of you that have been paying attention, you already know that this website has already made a number of accurate direct and subtle predictions on the fate of relationships and individuals.  The Kardashian divorce.  The intense troubles of Kate and William with the media.  The physical altercation between Justin Beiber and paparazzi, which should be no surprise to those that read my posting on his relationship with Selena Gomez, which has also suffered from instability and specific problems as specified in the posting.

I am not done (not even close).  And there are other predictions already posted.  You will find that over time (regardless of how long it takes) many of the predictions made here will come true.  Some will be very quick, some will be slower to transpire.  In the worst of cases, my biggest fears will come true if the parties involved do not make the right decisions.  The important thing to remember in order to extract maximum value in what you read, is that a breakup and when it happens is not the most important thing to look for.  The underlying problems that cannot be easily fixed due to the powers of Imin is what needs to be heeded.  I often find myself already knowing that many couples are having severe problems before there is any hint in the media that a breakup is looming.  Pay attention and know what is going on.  Then watch months and years from now how these relationships perform as predicted.

Rihanna and Chris Brown are the type of couple that is comparatively easy to analyze (unlike some couples previously written about), because there is surfeit information on their activities and acquaintances.  Some couples are private, other couples are more extroverted.  Rihanna and Chris possess an exuberance not matched by many couples in the world.  Not much that happens in their lives that is truly important is a secret.  I believe I was able to gather enough intel to know where these two are headed and the meaning of their intense relationship.  I chose to write about these two because their relationship contains some of the most devastating influences of Imin that one can deal with.

The first thing I find interesting about this relationship is that many people may believe that because Chris and Rihanna are back together, there must be some desire of redemption on Chris’s part due to the episode of domestic violence with Rihanna.  Yes, there is indeed a high degree of remorse, shame, and a desire to put it all behind him, and there is no better way to attempt to create a watershed effect than to simply rekindle his relationship with Rihanna and show the world how wrong it is about him.  However, it is important to realize that in reigniting this relationship, not every motive is selfish on the part of Chris.  Not everything is a desperate attempt to somehow make all the hatred and scorn he has experienced the world over go away.  Believe it or not (and for better or for worse), there is a strong element of real love in this relationship.  Most relationships that suffer lows like this one have no chance of rejoining once a clean break is made.  The fact they are back together after such awful events insists in this case that there is a strong emotional bond.  Pretenses can only be taken so far.  In short, the love is real.  But this does not mean by in itself that this relationship is feasible or sustainable in the long term.  These two individuals have a sharp edge to them, however Chris is more prone to outbursts than Rihanna.  Rihanna tends to be more verbally caustic than physically aggressive.  Even when her emotions takes her to places she rather not be, Rihanna tends to have more control over her emotions and actions, while Chris can lose control more easily and has a difficult time stopping himself once he gets going.  Amazingly, Rihanna is an individualistic and energetic girl with a certain serenity that allows her to act right in most cases.  Despite her bad girl act, doing the “right thing” comes easily to her when she needs or wants it.  This is a reason why she is so popular and is able to be more above-board, pleasing, and forgiving than most people could be.  As a whole, people naturally accept, admire, and respect Rihanna despite her shortcomings, and this is a key area where Chris struggles in.  In many ways, these two are polar opposites, and this is no doubt part of the intense attraction they both feel.  They are a dynamo to each other that can really spark them to excitements they can’t otherwise have with most other people.  They both feel they complement each other, but this comes at a very high cost.

Chris is a man of complex emotions who has not yet fully learned how to deal with an incredibly difficult life experience that could leave almost anyone broken.  As per the rules of Imin, people that react in unpredictable, surprising, and explosive ways tend to struggle with controlling their reactions, let alone their emotions, and tend to cause and attract situations that perpetuate such behavior.  If Chris hasn’t attended an anger management course, he should definitely give it a try.  This may not be his thing, and he may or may not be in denial, but he definitely needs some sort of guidance, because as much as he doesn’t want it, provocations, anger, and explosive situations will not disappear from his life.  The intelligent thing here is to embrace this difficult truth instead of trying deny, ignore, or run away from it, and plan and act accordingly.  I expect to continue to read and hear about strong outbursts by him and against him for a long time to come.  These episodes will not happen daily, but expect to continue to hear about explosive manifestations in his life from time to time.  The reason for this is that since he was a child, he has been the victim and witness of intense conflict and violence.  He apparently hasn’t had a parent figure stable enough to teach him about these things and how to deal with them, and this lack of guidance is very apparent in his adult life.  When unprovoked, there is something noteworthy about Chris.  His close friendships and acquaintances seem to have lasted a while, and except for outsiders and people that don’t like him, there is an element of strong mutual loyalty toward many of those that know him personally.  In fact, successfully attempting a restart with Rihanna is somewhat impressive given his history.  The intense and off-putting strife in his life belies a certain matureness he exhibits in other parts of his life and career.  He should feel very lucky to be with a high-minded and caring girl like Rihanna.  Unlike what many think of him, he is not an automatic brute or a sociopath.  But he needs to learn more on, and accept his afflicted and intense relationship with strife, anger, and violence.  Even if it is a good start, an anger management course will not likely end all his problems, as he still needs to understand that provocations and disappointment are a permanent part of his life and his actions are a large part of this.  Part of him wants to change, but a part of him will not let him.  A very intense session of planning and a specific prescribed approach to life is required for him to deal with the inevitability of his turbulent life and truly turn things around so that he can control his life instead of his life controlling him.  Unfortunately, his new attempt at a relationship with Rihanna is not the end of his problems in this regard.

The dynamics of Imin Enmity are extremely high in this relationship.  It is not inappropriate to say that this relationship is “afflicted”.  Every time there is an episode of domestic violence it should not be ignored or dismissed.  There are powerful psychological forces at work and my official stance is that their severe problems are implicitly intransigent to the point that they cannot be avoided in the long term.  When physical combat has been experienced, often it is best not to continue to pursue a relationship, because BOTH partners are contributing to the issue far beyond their control (much more than they can imagine).  Abuses of all kinds, whether verbal, emotional, or physical are unavoidable here regardless of how much they love each other, and these attacks may be initiated by either Rihanna or Chris at any time.  Chris is not the type of person that can be in a relationship where he can be provoked to lose his temper, and this relationship will not help him with this in the long term.  Frustrations, deception, undermining actions, spontaneous enmity, and explosive outcomes loom large in this relationship.  If adventure and a wild affair is what is desired, then this union will fit the bill, but no attempts should be made to turn the relationship or each other into something they are not as this will lead to certain disaster.  Both must allow each other to do whatever they want without interference, but this advice will prove almost impossible to execute and this will be the key to their eventual breakup.

An Archetype of Instability… Natalie Portman & Benjamin Millepied

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Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied

Greetings.  There is another exciting (and perplexing) union made official in the oft-unstable world of Hollywood.  I can now picture in my mind’s eye a number of raised eyebrows reacting to my opening statements on this new marriage.  But unless you are a new reader to this blog you probably know it is probably in everyone’s interest not to write off anything said here, good or (especially) bad.

So why do I find this union perplexing?  After all they have been together for well over two years.  First off, I found it somewhat difficult to find information pertaining the ins, outs, and abouts of this couple since their initial encounters.  One of my first impressions is that this is a very private and perhaps secretive couple.  In my experience studying the topics of lies, deception, infidelity, and illusions as they apply to couples, it is my tentative conclusion that both partners in couples that are excessively private after showing signs of high compulsivity often have issues of insecurity and sometimes have things to hide from the prying eyes of the world and each other.  After all, secretive couples are composed of secretive individuals!  I’m not saying that this couple will necessarily fall into the trap of infidelity and deception, but after a period of reflection I came to the conclusion that this is something that they both must look out for in the long term.  At the very least there could probably be a tendency not to be fully forthcoming when there is a problem, fear, or reservation.

But other factors helped lead me down this line of thought.  You see, at the onset of this relationship in 2009, there were many reports indicating a fast acting and exceedingly compulsive union.  There were also reports of infidelity and a wrecked home on Benjamin’s side, who reportedly left his former partner to form an intense relationship with Natalie.  This is usually an indication of an extremely passionate and compulsive sexual and romantic attraction.  These two really find each other irresistible, and they were going to proceed with their union, despite the high cost involved.  I tend to pay a lot of attention to just how high-visibility couples initially come together, because this presents a unique opportunity to understand why they came together and where they are headed.  The sex factor here is very high, and they are both compatible in this regard.  They are both also idealists and they are generally compatible in many ways even though they both can also be strong minded and willful when they are together.  The cultural background they share was also a strong factor adding to the sense of inevitability to their union.

Natalie is an intelligent, dynamic, and emotional woman that has suffered disappointments and frustrations.  Women as talented, passionate, and beautiful as Natalie usually have no problems finding partners in their early adult lives, but Natalie has found happiness elusive.  Because of her stated tastes and mental projections of what she believes is her ideal love and considering her goals for her future family life, I fear that this relationship will not conform to her long term expectations of happiness through married life, and disappointments and surprises will ensue.  As this relationship deepens and responsibilities accumulate, she’ll likely find this relationship frustrating, vexing, and limiting.  Her carefree and free-wheeling ways will be a thing of the past.

As far as Benjamin is concerned, he is obviously a man that emphasizes sex and passion in his life.  His dancing and choreographic talents reveal an intense man with passions that overflow into his artistic persona.  The drama surrounding his union with Natalie suggests that there is a powerful hold that Natalie has over him, whether he admits this or not.  Infidelity, jealousy, emotional manipulations, sentimental games, and disappointment are very common effects in circumstances such as this.   When frustrations ensue, Natalie is likely to shut Benjamin down with defiance and displays of independence.  Benjamin in turn can be emotionally damaging and hurtful toward Natalie when the going gets rough.

To be honest, I have seldom found a relationship this compulsive and born out of alleged drama and intrigue that lasts.  Relationships such as this have a way of changing both partners deeply and permanently.  However, the powers of Imin insist that not everything can change no matter how hard partners might try, and this will become painfully obvious to both  partners in the future.  The key question is… What are they both going to do when they are faced with the realities of this marriage?  My conclusion is that control struggles will ensue as both partners try to mold this marriage and new family into what they believe it supposed to be.  When futility follows, Natalie is likely to go off and do her own thing, putting Benjamin in a difficult situation.  They both can expect hot and cold episodes that coupled with their ambitions and differing values and lifestyle will create a vortex of anger, frustration, and instability.  I don’t think this relationship will last because of the almost impossible degree of work it requires.  These two individuals have a very different notion on how things are supposed to be, and this will cause some problems.  The first thing they can try is to simply let go and allow each other all the freedom in the world to co-exist and not unduly interfere and control each other (which due to principle will be incredibly difficult to do).  Be truthful and real in order to avoid (or at least reduce) heartbreak and disappointment.  Compromise and realize that this union will never be perfect or comfortable.  If they suffer a breakup (which is very likely) it is crucial to try to be as amicable as possible.  At this point the expectation is for me to say Mazel tov to this union, but while this thought does apply to a certain degree, I’ll just simply say b’hatzlacha instead.  Thank you for reading.

The publishing of the e-book is set for the latter part of this year.  Thank you all for your support and readership.  Month by month this blog is creating a growing community of readers and RSS subscribers from all over the world.  I love and appreciate you all and I’ll continue to post updates for you as opportunity allows me to.

The Future Of Parenting

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Greetings.  I hope all is well in your world.  In the last few months I have held conversations with parents of different walks of life.  It has been an enlightening time for me.  From people well known to me to the casual stranger, it is amazing how often parents struggle with the psychological permutations of parenting.   I’ve had time to visualize, develop, and learn quite a bit on applying the principles of Imin to help people be more effective (and less suffering) parents.  Parenting can be a very rewarding but challenging experience.  Some parents seem to be “luckier” than others with apparently smoother parenting  experiences.  Most did talk about some concerns and problems they are having.  I strongly believe that knowledge and application of Imin is at least an important key to the future of effective parenting.

The new e-book on Imin and it’s critical role in relationships is coming along quite well.  I delayed the release of the book due to a number of reasons.  First of all there is a formatting decision yet to be made.   Due to security, product integrity and other concerns it was suggested to me that I create a format compatible with Kindle or other e-Readers.  Perhaps I’ll make the book available in both it’s current independent format and an e-Reader version.  The decision is a work in progress and will be concluded once an exhaustive study on all available book media is completed.

The new edition of the book is very different from the original, and it’s release has been delayed because developing a new edition presents me with the unique opportunity to add new information, perform new research, and make changes consistent with the insights and wishes of original readers.

One critical addition is on the topic of parenting.  This is a topic I have been aware of for a long time, but been reluctant to develop and write about, because my specialty is long-term relationships of the love and commitment variety.  Imin applies to all interactions amongst people, whether we refer to friends, family, co-workers or strangers.  Committed relationships and parenting are perhaps the most important topics as applied to Imin, but for very specific reasons I have had my reservations and general reluctance to deal with the topic of parenting.  When you read the new edition of the book  you’ll learn the surprising reasons why!   There are a few reasons why parenting is an incredibly tricky subject, and the  dynamics of Imin as manifested in children is a major part of that.  To be honest, even as counter intuitive as it may seem, adults are in general more complex than children, but the topic of Imin is much less difficult to tackle in adult situations.  With children the issue is more complex and must with dealt with a certain degree of care.  Because no other people in the world currently deal with Implicitly Intransigent psychology like we do here at HSS, it falls upon me to deal with the topic of Imin in parenting.  Despite their best efforts parents sometimes struggle or fail to help set their children upon the right path or instill good habits and responsibility.  All parents  I have spoken to seem to want their children to be happy and successful.  This topic is not easy, but to those looking for a powerful and original approach to parenting, all efforts will be made in the new edition to bring this topic to the front and center in a deeply meaningful and helpful manner.

There is so much more work to be done.  I will post more updates and relationship profiles as soon as possible.  Thank you for your readership.

A Dance of Carrots and Sticks… Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt

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Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

After seven long years (has it really been that long?), the ring is finally on her finger and this exciting couple is ready to enter into a brave new phase of their relationship.  This couple is one of my absolute favorites, and my affinities are a lot less superficial than some may think!  There are many things to enjoy and admire about this couple.  I congratulate Brad and Angelina, and I wish them both the best in their impeding marriage, which by all accounts has the potential to be a very successful one if certain caveats are acknowledged and effectively assimilated into their relationship.

For the longest time I credited Brad’s success to his way-above-average ability to “go for it”.  This guy can out-drum the Duracell bunny any day, and wear out the Eveready cat with sheer displays of energy.  Working, playing, or pursuing his heart desire is almost always an all-or-nothing affair for Brad.  Overwhelmed with things to do and need someone to pull a crazy and brilliant all-nighter with?  Give Brad a call!  Thinking big and acting big (no pun intended) is his way, and there are no signs of slowing this guy down anytime soon.  Of course all this energy, like with all excess or aggressive energy, can get him into serious trouble and even conflict sometimes because you can’t always have your way.  But Brad certainly knows how to mold things to his advantage for the most part, and bring things to a successful conclusion, even if the effort required may bring him to abject exhaustion!  In the realm of love and emotions he also gets high marks.  His amazing displays of devotion to Angelina and their children makes it clear that this is a guy that has a healthy wealth of high passion and love.  Many men have certain insecurities and perhaps certain inhibitions when it comes to love and emotions, but Brad has no such issues.  It is my impression that throughout his life, and despite his success, Brad never seems too complacent or satisfied, and has had to struggle with reality not always been commensurate with his desires and ideals, leading to disappointments.  This last thought is critical because it partly qualifies his relationship with Angelina.

Angelina is a lot less straight forward to comprehend than Brad.  This is a complex woman with a history of roller coaster changes, evolution, and even devolution in some cases.  I’m not going to delve in her past, which as many know, is fraught with certain heartbreak and tragedy.  Let me just say that I admire her incredible recovery in the last few years, made possible through love and courageous redemption.  I don’t know many people that would be able to manage half the things she has gone through!  Reviewing her life carefully makes it very clear to me that Angelina has had to fight all her life for everything she has and accomplished.  Nothing was given to her and this life-long sense of constant striving has made her one of the strongest women in the world.  Relationships (of all kinds) are exceedingly difficult for her, and when there is trouble in this area she often falls victim to intense bouts of anger, frustration, coldness, and even depression.  She is very unique and obviously does not follow the “rules of society” when it comes to family and relationships.  Love has been an intense and oft painful topic throughout her life, making jealousy and possessiveness in her relationships a key area of discussion.  For better or for worse, her feelings are powerful and intense.  She sometimes has a hard time seeing things for what they are, and as a result she struggles with the onset of unexpected surprises and problems, more so than the average person.  This applies to her personal as well as her working life.  She is very idealistic and extremely active as her well publicized activities show, and she is capable of incredible good deeds, but I’m sure she constantly learns more and more of the harsh realities of life, commitments, and the latent effects of her decisions.

There is no question that for Brad and Angelina this is a very challenging relationship.  It is not always easy and it is not always as good as many would think.    One of the most important factors that binds them together is sexual compatibility.  After all these years it seems that the passion is still very much alive and is a source of enormous happiness for the both of them.  A good, active, and passionate sex life is a key to a long lasting relationship for these two.  However, these are two very different people, and while the contrasts in personality are a source of excitement and passion, they are also a source of power and control struggles within the relationship.  After all, these are two strong minded people, and while they often do a good job in keeping their in-fighting in private, absolute harmony is impossible in a relationship such as this, and passionate battles can erupt at any time.  They really do seem to work very hard to keep their relationship in good working order, and I like how they are able thus far to compromise and support each other despite the fact that their impulses and actions are not always in tune.

It is interesting that the main reason why these two haven’t married earlier is due to Angelina’s reluctance to marry Brad.  I’m sure that Angelina’s troubled past is a big reason for this.  If it were up to Brad they would probably be married already.  After seven years of displaying his love and devotion, Brad finally has his way.  He even got a little naughty and ganged up with the kids on Angelina to get it done.  Blaming the kids for the pressure to marry? Tsk Tsk Brad.  Isn’t that what he wanted all along? Do kids normally have the upper hand over adults on matters of marriage to the point they can’t be convinced otherwise? Mischievous Brad.  Anyways, the reason I mention all of this is because I found it hard not to notice a certain tension in this relationship.  I have learned over the years that underlying tensions in strong minded relationships such as this can give way to subtle and not-so-subtle manipulation, deception, and underhandedness in order to control or influence the actions of the other partner.  If this relationship breaks up, intense disappointment in actions committed by one partner toward the other is the likeliest cause.  It would serve them well to be very straightforward about their affairs and resist the temptation to play games of deception or manipulation whether physical, mental, or emotional.  They both mean well and love each other but they both have needs, dreams, and wishes which can lead them to act in certain ways to mold the relationship to these projections, to undermining effects.  In marrying Angelina, is Brad really expecting to finally turn the relationship into all he wants it to be?  What is he expecting to change in pursuing this marriage?  Brad should be very careful and insightful in answering such questions.  Neither Angelina or Brad should expect this relationship to conform to their idyllic views because it simply won’t.

This is a marriage of resources.  Deep down, Angelina sees in Brad an incredible enabler with whom she can spread her proverbial wings and just fly.  Almost anything seems possible and she feels that Brad is really taking care of her in many ways; however, the fun factor must be high or she will not be happy.  Brad sees this incredibly sexy and free wheeling woman that is irresistible and exciting, and deep down he somehow wants to turn this high-flying world ambassador and idealist into his wife.  Somehow (mainly in certain key non-material respects) they both feel that their partner can provide above and beyond what their wildest dreams could offer, making this an electrifying union for the both of them.  All of this is fantastic but it does create problems.  The key question embedded in Brad’s psyche is “Where is my wife?”.  The key question in Angelina’s psyche is “Where is my playmate?”.  For best results, Brad should somehow convince Angelina that their marriage will double the passion and child-like fun they have, not reduce it by Brad turning into some sort of boring and dictating father figure!  As for Angelina, she should whisper “husband” into Brad’s ear every now and then, and “play at wife” sometimes even if it is not always easy!  Brad would certainly get a kick out of that and the relationship will be the most pleasant for the both of them.

On another topic, Angelina should heed the general cautions and advice that Brad sets forth, and she acknowledges and even loves this about Brad, but she is also compelled to resent and resist this natural authority Brad commands if he is not careful.  Brad for his part not only knows when to back down, but he actually supports Angelina even if he suspects that her actions might have an emotional or material toll attached.  To illustrate, it is almost as if Angelina needs to cross a dark ditch to arrive at an oasis on the other side of the ditch.  It’s somewhat dark but what appears to be water or mud sits at the bottom of the ditch… it looks somewhat safe and certainly no legs can be broken, so she says “Let’s jump”…. Brad answers “It’s dark down there and we don’t know exactly what might catch us”… Angelina pouts and says “I’m jumping!”… Brad loves Angelina so he says “To heck with it, I’m going with you”.  After they gleefully jump, it is not too long before they realize they landed in a quicksand pit! The fun-filled adventurous jump en route to the oasis turns out to be more problematic than either of them thought (fortunately there were some sturdy vines in the vicinity for them to pull on!).  This sort of carrot-and-stick scenario may seem fanciful, but the concept it represents actually applies to some of the most important interactions and decisions they make.  They have the resources to pursue juicy carrots, but they have to deal with the big sticks and unyielding strings they are attached to.  The result is heavy burdens, responsibilities, chaos, and an inability to enjoy the relationship as they both would like.  My thoughts and tentative advice for this marriage would be that “Simple Is Better”.  It may seem possible to ensnare the moon in a relationship like this, but once they do, what are they going to do with it?  If they want to sweeten and lighten up this relationship for maximum enjoyment they should make every attempt to consolidate and enjoy what they have and not try to expand or overdo things as this will sap their happiness in the long run.  Just picturing myself trying to emulate their activities and decisions gives me a poetical headache, and I’m quite active myself.  This is a very enabling relationship, and they should eventually learn how to slow down or risk getting trapped or mired into undesirable situations, surprising reversals, and chaos.

This relationship has many potentials for happiness and longevity.  The trick is to realize that “less is more” sometimes and be realistic in that despite all, this relationship will never be everything they ideally think it could.  They should love each other “as is” with minimal interference because with marriage typically comes a progressively increasing desire to change a partner into something the partner isn’t.  Whether overtly or covertly, they shouldn’t play or manipulate each other to conform.  Just keep things simple (as much as possible) while working hard on loving each other and making the marriage sweet, passionate, and pleasant (which will not always be easy).  If the relationship collapses it is likely because of the chaos or impositions surrounding it, and due to undermining actions committed by one partner against the other in exercising their will, potentially leading to heartbreaking disappointment or a sense of betrayal.  It is my sincere hope that they are able avoid this and that this great relationship endures.

Due to new research and other projects, the publishing of the new e-book has been postponed.  Announcements and pertinent updates will be posted on the progress of the e-book.  Thank you all for your patience and readership.

 

 

The Perils of Emotional Strife… Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake

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Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

Explosive.  Passionate. Idealistic.  Unpredictable.  These are some of the many key words that help describe this dynamic union.  Few relationships (including those of celebrities) can conjure up the incredible energy that these two great people are able to harness.  I have been watching these two for quite a while, but I couldn’t help it.  I had to hold my peace.  Until now.  After all, there has been a break-up followed by a reunion.  And a surprising marriage proposal with full engagement.   So what am I going to do with these two?  Read on if you dare!

It is almost impossible to imagine these two being bored with each other.  A long period of observation makes it clear that the “WOW” factor is high in this relationship.  Their intelligence both as a couple and as individuals is really something to be admired.  They are both strong and opinionated communicators with surplus energy and resources to chase after anything that catches their eyes, minds, and hearts.  Indulgences and excesses could easily be a source of trouble for these two if they are not careful.  Unlike many couples, passion is a driving force that not only engulfs their intimate and sex life, but also all other joint activities whether serious business or just play.

Many people may or may not know this, but Jessica (for one) is a very strong woman.  A powerhouse, she can be quite formidable mentally and physically.  This is the kind of person you would prefer in your foxhole in an all out trench war.  Passion, strength, determination, industriousness, smarts, and drive are natural to her and are integral to her persona.  This leads us to her love life, and why it has been so difficult for her throughout her life.  Jessica’s strong disposition and independence can be a challenge for any man not secure enough in his own skin to hold his own in a relationship with such a powerhouse of a woman.  I think Jessica has had to learn how to take it easy with the men in her life and she has probably had a number of clashes with members of both sexes.  Despite family and acquaintances, she has probably felt lonely, lacking in love, and hard-understood at different stages of her life.  She has a difficult time seeing things clearly sometimes because of her inherent idealism, and this coupled with her strong emotional disposition have lead her to disappointment in the past.  She should be more realistic about Justin, and allow herself and Justin a higher than average degree of freedom and forgiveness, or the relationship will appear too difficult, too angry, and too unstable to maintain.  The dynamics of Imin enmity are strong in this relationship, and Jessica is more likely than Justin to feel the brunt of it.   Justin is secure and “smooth” enough to be with a strong and dedicated woman like Jessica.  That passion and devotion is among the things Justin craves in Jessica, whilst Jessica loves (among other things) Justin’s cool disposition and self-security that allows her to be her strong passionate self in his presence.

Justin is the quintessential “smooth guy”.  For those wondering if it is just an act, the truth is that it is not!  Justin was very fortunate to have been born with the ability to keep things cool and collected despite any underlying difficulties.  But his image belies an intense (and perhaps even playfully devious) passion in the realm of sex and  love.  His love life has been quite enriching and varied, but has lacked stability due to Justin’s inability to ease up on his love partners.  Passion and intensity are helpful, but Justin needs to learn how to harness this while not turning his love relationships into matters of life and death or ultimatums of love.  He needs to learn how to be more forgiving and trusting and give his partners more sentimental generosity and overall freedom.  By what I have seen thus far, jealousy has been a problem in at least some of his previous relationships.  I seriously doubt that many of his ex-partners have felt secure with him and secure of his love.  If he doesn’t watch his actions, Jessica will feel that their relationship is full of instability and strife.  My advice is simply this… “Justin, GO EASY”.  This I know is going to be a big challenge because a lot of these things are relative perception.  Justin should give Jessica ample benefits of the doubt, and know that anger (or even the perception of anger) can create a devastating chain of events that can cause irritation and damage. He should not be defiant and distant when there is trouble.  Justin needs to reassure Jessica of his love for her whenever there is discord instead of making her feel insecure.

Every couple and every individual have a “fighting style”.  Justin mostly responds to strife by acting coldly and defiantly, striking at the emotional nerve center of the relationship.  This leads to feelings of insecurity that is often very damaging, especially to women.  However, Jessica has a strong will, and unfortunately she also has the ability to act belligerently and coldly, building a stonewall that can weaken and destroy any relationship.  When two people such as this come together, there is a danger that at some point they will act as if they really don’t care if the relationship comes to an end.  Compromise will not be easy.  Unfortunately, this relationship will be emotionally difficult and intense anger will not be avoided as per the rules of Imin.  This is truly a hard case and I can’t see this relationship enduring happily in the long term.  In the case of couples such as this, I would need to talk to both partners to provide them with better understanding on what is taking place, and what preemptive or corrective actions are possible in order to save their marriage.

I am still working on expanding my e-book on Implicit Intransigence (while working on other equally important projects),  and it will take more time to complete.  Thank you for your readership and support.

High Level Relationships… The Pursuit Of A Better Future.

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Greetings to all.  It is an exciting time for me and HSS.  A new edition of the E-book on Implicit Intransigence is currently in the works.  The main addition to this new version is an all-encompassing “Relationships Guide”, which is an easy to read section that integrates highly-practical steps and action points that everyone should take when approaching any potential or current relationship.  The guide does not require in-depth or scholastic understanding of Imin, and it provides real-life guidance consistent with the powerful inner workings of relationships.  Real knowledge is provided pertaining to the practical truths of effective communication in relationships, positive interactions, understanding and handling of differences, self-assessments, partner assessments, and all critical aspects of creating success in relationships.  Whether a professional, counselor, or a casual reader, all will benefit enormously from this new edition.

To those who have purchased the e-book, there is no need to worry!  All who have purchased the e-book in the past are entitled to the new edition free of charge.  An announcement will be made when the final release date is made official.

The Humphries-Kardashian divorce has brought some attention to this website and it has received messages and increased traffic.  This blog is mostly about analyzing relationships of public interest and predicting issues affecting such relationships, not timing breakups.  I am sure that many readers understand that many highly afflicted relationships can last many decades.  The longevity of relationships depends on many factors, but the presence of challenges is often undeniable and permanent, regardless of how long a relationship lasts.  So please don’t judge this blog solely on the duration of relationships that are written about here.  Yes, this blog was the first to predict severe challenges affecting this ill-fated union, since the post was released immediately after the marriage took place.  But there was no mention of its surprisingly short duration, even though there was a general sense that this would be an especially difficult union, and this was one of the main reasons the post was written in the first place.

I’m aware there has been an extended respite from this blog, and I apologize to all readers.  My life, both personally and professionally, is in a state of flux, and I’m looking forward to the future with excitement.  There has been some reorientation and adjustments for me, but there is still much ground to cover, and new useful projects to pursue.  One of the most important projects here at HSS is a new dating website solely based on the principles of Imin to help create high level relationships.  I’ll continue making posts on this blog keeping everyone abreast of any critical and exciting developments in the world of relationships.  Please bear with me and thank you for your valuable sponsorship and readership.

A Contrast Of Dreams Versus Reality… Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries

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Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

The K & K marriage is finally consummated, and now it is time to take a closer look at this marriage phenomenon and public spectacle.

I think that if anyone were to ask these two (at the moment) if they are “true soulmates” the emphatic answer would be an enthused YES from both of these passionate believers of love.  Given their public statements and behavior it is clear that these two are on cloud 9 or 10 and are full of love and high expectations.  The speed at which they made things final and official gives me a clue as to the type of relationship we can expect from these two.  This is the type of relationship that develops quickly on the basis of beautiful dreams, illusions, lust, and glossed-over expectations.

In terms of their initial attraction, sex drive and sensual compatibility are key components here.  Unlike many couples, these two really seem way above average in this area simply by judging their body language and choice of activities.  Kris in his behavior and choice of life partner is clearly a man of strong natural sexual drives.  Kim’s long trail of ex-partners also gives me all the insight I need as to her strong sexual proclivities.  Lust is not the only reason for the marriage, as these two have demonstrated a strong belief in the concept of love and emotional connection.  Sex for these two appears to be a vehicle of intense emotional bonding, love, and security.  This is a hot and heavy relationship and these two will not be happy if they keep their hands off each other or don’t emote strongly in the lovemaking process.  Failure in the sex department will most likely signal the end of this very physical union.  Kim and her public persona also clearly reveals a powerful emotional construct that has obviously caused her enormous difficulties in past relationships.  As per the rules of Imin, this difficult pattern will continue in her new marriage.

Their statements and that of those familiar with their relationship show a certain naive and compulsive disposition.  The problem that I have seen with this sort of thing is that it creates a pie-in-the-sky relationship with very little connection to the looming dangers of Imin Enmity.  Kim seems to have the emotional upper hand in this relationship.  This relationship will likely be more challenging for Kris than it will be for Kim, and if it ends, it is likely that Kris would be the driving force behind a split.  Kim will likely feel in the long term that she is not receiving all the love and affection that  she so desperately desires, and this will cause her to behave in ways that will put Kris in an emotional straightjacket.  This effect is called affectionate imbalance, where one partner feels that he or she is more loving than the other.  Studying the past and projecting it to the future insists that Kim’s emotions and the effect they have on Kris hold the key to the fate of the relationship, because with negative emotions come an unwillingness to work together or to compromise, leading to intense Imin Entrenchment and Imin Enmity that are nearly impossible to overcome.  They both must be very careful in experiencing intense frustration and futility with each other.

I’m not questioning their sincerity in pursuing this marriage.  They are both sincere in their intentions, and their intense feelings are real.  The problem is the massive rift that will develop between their expectations and high flying dreams of ideal love, and the sobering reality that will see them both crashing back down to earth, regardless of how long this relationship lasts.  If they want to succeed as a couple, they must develop the sensitivity and love-smarts required to understand and embrace the frustration and emotional stress they will certainly experience, and in doing so they must aggressively pursue compromise instead of aggressively working against or stifling each other.

My verdict is that these two will intensely love each other, but will fail miserably in making this marriage work in the long term due to their initial inability to construct a relationship that is more based on their realities than their dreams.  In part due to their free wheeling and differing lifestyles, ego clashes, control struggles, and an inability to let each other be who they are due to emotional imbalances and insecurities will create an environment where Imin Enmity will not be avoided.   Due to this, I expect to see and read things in the future suggesting they have problems getting along.  I picture both of them going off in separate directions and showing up at events without their partner.  Right now they are inseparable, but if close attention is paid, all that will change before a split ensues.

For more information on Imin Enmity and its negative effects on even the most emotionally intense marriages, you should acquire the affordable e-book here.

Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez… When Puppy Love Goes Wrong…

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Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber

Justin and Selena are two young and very talented people… in a very challenging relationship.  In my years of profiling couples I’ve seen some very difficult cases, where the powers and effects of Imin are easy to identify and breakups are easy to predict.  I believe this relationship is yet another victim of the incredible powers of afflicted Imin.  When this relationship breaks up (and it will), I am  not sure if there will be a high level of shock throughout the world or not, but I can certainly hope that it is a learning experience for the both of them.

This strong and compulsive attraction is obviously physical, but there is also hidden dimensions to this relationship.  Both of them have found something compelling and ideal in each other.  These two charismatic and strong-minded individuals enjoy a high degree of excitement of the mental and emotional variety.  The way the relationship is conducted makes it obvious that both of them feel that they are almost perfect for each other in certain regards.  They communicate deeply and well and they feel an incredibly deep connection, friendly compatibility, and admiration.  They are extremely dynamic as all their joint activities show and they both goad each other in every aspect of their lives making this a very fun and active relationship.  If they both weren’t in showbiz I would probably give them  a better chance to succeed as a couple.

Let me provide everyone with an accurate inside look of the perils of afflicted puppy attractions.  Two of the biggest reasons behind troubled relationships are Imin Enmity and Imin Entrenchment.  Unfortunately I have identified both challenges within the dynamics of this relationship,  and they both will manifest themselves in the worst of ways.  Unfortunately, when Justin and Selena are together the willful dimensions of their character will often come forth and will be impossible to control in the long term.  Justin and Selena will eventually find that this is a feisty and compulsive relationship full of goading and competitiveness.  Imin enmity will take control of this relationship and it will lead to heated battles within (and without) the relationship.  Their impulses are not always in tune and this will weaken the mental and emotional affinities they have.  Relationships often have multiple dimensions, and there is usually a delicate balance between instincts and impulses on one side, and mental or emotional states on the other.  This relationship will find an oft violent contrast between these two differing areas and that is why hurt feelings and negative detrimental or destructive actions will take place.  Despite the love they feel, they will not be able to reconcile their impulses, actions, and lifestyle to maintain their relationship in the long term.  Jealousy and control attempts are usually the result in relationships such as this.  It will be impossible for these two to feel secure in this relationship in the long term and the resulting insecurities and instability will lead to stubbornness, frustration, and fighting.  If this relationship deepens significally before the breaking point, Justin and Selena must be very wary of physical battle and battery.  When the inevitable happens it is best to part ways as amicably as possible.

For more information on Implicit Intransigence (Imin) and its powerful effects in even the most exciting relationships, acquire the affordable e-book here.